Kierkegaard:

‘…the most common despair is to be in despair at not choosing, or willing, to be oneself; but that the deepest form of despair is to choose to be another than himself. On the other hand to will to be that self which one truly is, is indeed the opposite of despair, and this choice is the deepest responsibility of man.’

(Excerpt from ‘On Becoming a Person’ by Carl Rogers)